I don’t want to be a “mom-fluencer.”
I’ve been trying to sidestep this reality, the one that I’m about to undergo—becoming someone’s mom—keep it at arm’s length. Struggling to marry the identities I’ve built so far with this new one.
I don’t want to lose who I am—and that fear has been one of my biggest battles since becoming pregnant.
I don’t want to be a “mom-fluencer.” I just want to keep sharing the things I love without feeling like my entire online presence—whether it’s here on Savour or on Instagram—has to revolve around this new label I’m adding.
Since we decided to expand our family, I’ve struggled with how to integrate this new identity of “mom” into both my creative work and my life in general.
I’ve felt stuck, blocked, by this mindset for awhile now.
Because of this, I feel like I hid most of my pregnancy from my online space - and it caused a decent amount of internal friction. I felt torn.
Here I was, going through this massive life change, and I felt paralyzed when it came to sharing it. I’m so much more than this new title of “mom” and I didn’t want to be viewed as just that.
I don’t plan on having my kids become a visible part of my online presence. It won’t be a secret, of course, but my spaces were never meant to be centred around my kids.
The idea of becoming a mom is overwhelming, exciting, and nerve-wracking. And figuring out how to merge this new identity with the ones I already hold hasn’t been easy.
I struggle with an all-or-nothing mentality in many areas of my life.
It’s always kind of been that way—especially when it comes to my online presence or creative pursuits. I needed clear guidelines, clear rules to follow, needed to have a clear-cut identity.
But since I decided to part ways with the traditional coaching model I was following a little while ago, I’ve been struggling with my identity.
And then when we found out we were pregnant—although very much wanted—it threw me for an additional loop on the identity front.
Because while becoming a mom was important to me, I didn’t want it to be the only thing about me. I wasn’t someone who grew up with being a mom as my only dream. I don’t think I’ve ever uttered the words, “All I’ve ever wanted to be is a mom.”
So this new impending title rocked me, rocked the identity foundation… when the foundation already felt a bit cracked.
Who am I? How do I want to show up online?
Am I the boundary coach I’ve been pushing?
Am I a writer?
Am I a lifestyle content creator?
Am I a wanna-be mom-fluencer?
The questions didn’t seem to end, and I never felt happy when I focused on just one aspect of my life.
But I felt (it was rooted deep) that I needed to make a choice.
I needed to make a decision on who I was when I showed up online.
Since January, it’s been something that’s been on my mind, in my journals, discussed during community calls, and it finally came to a head at the end of April.
What happened? Well, we were tasked with the exercise: What seeds are you planting this May?
I spent a few minutes realizing that I needed to lean into and accept some things:
I’m becoming a mom
My online presence doesn’t need to be one thing
I’m allowed to have more than one label or title
So for May, I decided that I’m planting seeds of acceptance.
I’ve decided to lean into the label of “mom” alongside my other titles.
I’m tired of fighting it. It’s been so exhausting trying to keep it all separate, to categorize my “labels,” to feel confident in sharing every part of myself.
But if I allow it—if I surrender a bit—I think this new chapter, as scary and unknown as it feels, could be something really beautiful.
It hit me during that community call the other night that taking on a new title doesn’t erase the ones that came before it. It doesn’t diminish everything I’ve built and bled for—the identities I’ve fought for, the ones I’ve earned with blood, sweat, and tears.
I’m still me. I’m still Emma.
I’m a mosaic:
a daughter,
a Hufflepuff,
a wife,
a dog mom,
a dreamer,
a friend,
a writer,
a creative,
an advocate,
a coach,
a reader,
a chocolate connoisseur.
And now, mom.
I’ve been trying to sidestep this reality, the one that I’m about to undergo—becoming someone’s mom—keep it at arm’s length. Struggling to marry the identities I’ve built so far with this new one.
I felt like in order to embrace the title of “mom,” it meant letting go of so many other titles I’ve crafted for myself. Again, that all-or-nothing mentality creeping in.
When in reality, I needed a mindset shift—this new title I’m adding isn’t a replacement but an addition.
Just another title in the ever-growing repertoire of who I am.